Every Woman needs a Willie

If you are reading this expecting something phallic - stop now - Willie is my handyman!  Every woman needs a handy man and being married or in a relationship is no guarantee of having one.  I found this out to my cost as both of mine were not much addition in the handyman stakes.  The first had the patience to read the instructions which was one step better than me.  I was more inclined to hit stuff with a hammer.  The second when he could be bothered was a bit better, but in no way practical.

Willie has a full time job so his handyman stints are nixers (or foreigners as they say in the U.K).  That means you have to wait until he has finished whatever shift he is on.  Willie doesn't stand on ceremony and he doesn't believe in door bells.  Willie just opens the door and lands in.

He also shouts loudly and every conversation is peppered with expletives.  He is particularly loud with me as - I am able to take it - his words.  One time he was here doing a job and one of my sisters rang.  She heard him in full flow and whispered "are you ok"?

He has fixed my Kitchen Aid, blitzers, blenders, washing machines, tumble driers, dishwashers, pumps, and recently installed a timer on my immersion heater.  He has unblocked drains, plumbed in showers, freed up a Velux window, hung roller blinds and hung a clothes horse - pulley device on the landing to exploit the heat rising from the stove.  All were fixed with cheerful loud banter, usually berating women as being useless, annoying and the best way to deal with them is to agree with everything they say.

I had the misfortune to take out a 5 year guarantee on a washing machine I bought a while back.  The first time I needed a call out, I rang the number given on the guarantee and was connected eventually to a call centre in outer Milton Keynes (or somewhere) - to an operator who asked where in southern Ireland I was.  I told her there was no such political entity, I was actually almost in Ulster but was in the Republic of Ireland and was met with a stunned silence.  Then she requested my address.  No house number or name were bad enough, but no street address and; horror of horror; no post code!  By the time the call was over she was beyond stressed and I was ready to "fix" said washing machine with said hammer.

The 5 year guarantee still lingers but will never again be used and instead Willie rides in to the rescue, all the time cursing feckin women!

Postscript
It annoys me when companies sell their products here in Ireland but then cover us by a UK call centre who have no training or knowledge of the country geographically or politically.

Boyne Valley Blue and Beetroot Tart

Sheridan's Cheese held their annual Food Festival recently and I spent probably the best Sunday of the year, wandering around in hot sunshine tasting fabulous food from some of the best food producers in the country.

One of my purchases was a big piece of Boyne Valley Blue cheese that when we returned home was put in fridge along with my sister's purchases and which, when she returned to her home she took along with her own.  Eventually when I got it back it had sweated in tinfoil and was a bit the worse for wear.


I decided to make a tart using beetroot I had bought at Sheridans' Farmer's Market held every Saturday at their Meath base.


The recipe uses Spelt flour in the pastry and raw milk buttermilk (I leave raw milk in the fridge to sour naturally to buttermilk).  The buttermilk gives the pastry a very good flaky, short texture and reduces the amount of butter needed. 

Boyne Valley Blue and Beetroot Tart
Pastry Base
150g organic white Spelt flour
60g butter
2 tablespoons of raw milk buttermilk
2 tablespoons (approx) cold water
Pinch salt

Rub softened butter into the flour, stir in the buttermilk and then very gradually add the water.  All flour absorbs different amounts of water, so don't welly it all in at once.  When it forms a cohesive mix, cover and place in fridge to rest for an hour.

Roll out the pastry and line a 23cm/9" fluted pie tin with removable base.  Prick the pastry with a fork. Cover with baking parchment and fill with baking beans.  Place in a hot oven 180 deg C for 10 minutes, turn around and leave another 5-10 minutes and then remove beans and paper and finish off in oven until it is baked and lightly browned. Allow to cool. 

Filling
3 large red onions
knob of butter
sprig fresh thyme
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
pinch of Muscovado sugar
salt and pepper
3 medium beetroot cooked and peeled and sliced thinly
100g of Boyne Valley blue cheese or alternative

While the pastry is resting in the fridge, make the filling.  Soften the onions in butter and add in the thyme, balsamic vinegar and sugar.  Season and allow to really melt down on a low heat.  Remove the thyme and spread over the cooled pastry base. Scatter the sliced beetroot over and then crumble or finely slice the blue cheese liberally.  Place the tart back in the oven to just melt the blue cheese.  Either serve warm or cold.

They can be made into individual tartlets also and served as canapés or as a starter.



















 



Tags: Irish Food  Irish Recipes  St. Patrick's Day Recipe  Boyne Valley Blue  Irish Cheese Recipes

I have become a Pig Farmer

Even the title of this post sounds hilarious.  I have said it to myself a few times now and I still can't get my head around it.

For years, since I worked in a large turkey processing business as a Quality Manager, I have had a horror of intensively reared animals.  People always used to ask me how could I bear to watch the turkeys being slaughtered. I could very easily because it was a welcome relief from a truly horrible life - and this was lived in an EU registered export plant, inspected by Department of Agriculture veterinary surgeons and continuously monitored by them. 

In this country the only animals that live a true free range life are cattle and sheep.  Pigs and poultry live in horrendous conditions, reared in unnaturally confined sheds with no access to fresh air or even bedding in the case of pigs.  How can meat from such animals be healthy?

Chicken and turkeys have to be pumped with antibiotics in their feed as they are housed with so many others that transfer of disease and bacteria is rampant.  I always remember the handy man in the turkey plant came in at lunch one day and told us he had found a turkey with no feathers on it's body, it had been pecked so much from the other birds it was completely raw - yet it was still alive.  He said, and I will always remember it, "if it wasn't for all the antibiotics in it's food, the poor bugger would have died".

Unfortunately pigs are no better and what is worse they are animals with greater intelligence than dogs.  Sows are still kept in farrowing crates where the only movement they can make is to stand up or lie down.  Intensively reared pigs are not allowed bedding in order to prevent the spread of disease.  They cannot root or forage as pigs do naturally and they are fed concentrates.

The option is there to buy free range poultry, but how free range are they really? I have seen poultry called free range, many thousands in a shed with a patch of grass at the side that would be full with a few calves.  Every now and again the vents at the side of the shed are opened and the turkeys - totally institutionalised - peep out and a few brave souls venture forth.  So free range really is a word that has little or no meaning. 

I have chickens primarily for eggs but we have killed some for the pot in the past.  I do not eat eggs any more from the shop.  Firstly, despite what they are labelled they are not free range and secondly they are not even fresh.  If I have to buy chicken I buy "free range" with a heavy heart knowing that it really is not.

At least with chicken you have a choice - with pork there is none.  I don't know of any major supermarket or butcher selling free range pork.  Unless you buy from a friend or a specialised producer, what you buy is intensively reared.  The local craft butcher told me he would not be able to sell free range pork.  I assumed this was because of cost, but no it was because of fat! Consumers have such an abhorrence of fat that they would consume antibiotic-pumped lean pigs producing lean but tasteless meat??

Now I have my own pigs I am looking forward to having my own pork and bacon and so are all my family.  If I get any more customers that will be great but for now I am going to produce only what I can use or distribute among friends and family.

Tags: Pig Farming  Free Range Pigs  Pig Husbandry 

Rainy, Recession Dishes for a Wintery Summer

Sometimes when I am shopping in my local supermarket I come across meat at a really reduced price that I can't resist.  Often they are cuts I would never normally buy so I challenge myself to try and make something tasty with them.

I love lamb but hate the the taste of mutton and a few times I have been caught out buying mutton dressed as lamb so to speak.

I almost never buy shoulder chops as I prefer loin.  But the other day I came across a packet of 4 big lamb shoulder chops at a substantially reduced price and as it was the weekend of my Seven Week Odyssey (diet) I decided to try and make a curry but reducing the calories.

The curry paste was made up as follows:
1 large onion finely chopped or buzzed in a blender preferably with 2 fat cloves of garlic and a piece of ginger the size of your thumb.  Add a good pinch of salt and a tablespoon of sunflower oil.

Remove this mix and add to the blender 2 teaspoons of coriander seeds, cumin seeds and 1 teaspoon of fennel, mustard seeds, nigella seeds and fenugreek.  Buzz these until crushed and add to the onion mix above.

Mix in 1 teaspoon of turmeric, chilli powder (more if you like it spicy), ground cumin, coriander, garam masala, 5 cloves, 2 bay leaves, 2 curry leaves, 5 cardamon pods and a small piece of cinnamon stick.  I also add a red chilli chopped with the seeds.

Trim excess fat off the meat and spread the paste on both sides of the chops and leave overnight or at least 3 hours covered loosely with cling film in fridge.

Scrape the paste off the meat and reserve. Sear the chops on a hot pan and set aside. Add the paste to the pan and stir for a few minutes as heating the spices releases the flavours.

Add the meat back into the spice paste and just cover with water.  

Simmer for approximately an hour.

When the meat has become tender, add 1 sachet of creamed coconut.  When adding it stir continuously to prevent it splitting.  The sauce will thicken. Just before serving add a good handful of finely chopped spinach.


I either serve with a small portion of basmati rice and/or a naan bread and some poppadoms cooked in the microwave.

All curries are far nicer cooked with meat on the bone and also left overnight before serving.  Nigella seeds are available in Sainsburys in Newry or Asia Market, Drury St.                                                               


Tags: curry, lamb shoulder chops, creamed coconut

Jarret de Porc

Jarret de porc also know as a pork hock i.e. a hock that has not been brined.  I bought one from my local butcher weighing 1kg for €1.

A hock this size feeds two people adequately so it is really economical.

Marinate the hock overnight with 500ml of dry cider or a craft beer (O'Hara's ale).  Add some chopped onion, celery, carrot and a bay leaf to the marinade.

Next day strain off the marinate and place in a saucepan and bring to the boil. Skim off any scum that rises to the top and reserve the skimmed liquid.


Fry off more veg of your choice (carrot, celery, onion, garlic and some fresh herbs such as thyme and sage) and transfer to a casserole with the skimmed cider/beer.  Pat the hock dry and sear it on a hot pan.  Place it in the pot.  Add 150ml of chicken or veal stock, season and place in oven for 2-3 hours or until the meat falls off the bone.

Tags: jarret de porc, pork hock, O'Haras

Little Balls of Heaven

I love meatballs and have experimented with many different recipes to finally achieve what I believe are the best ever.



I use a 50:50 beef and pork,.  I find the pork needs to be lean and the beef less so.  Preferably mince your own and use the best quality you can afford.





250g each minced beef and pork
1 medium red onion finely chopped with 1 clove garlic softened in some butter
A good handful of chopped herbs (I used sage, oregano and mint)
1 egg to bind if required
Salt and pepper
1 pack of fresh mozzarella

Mix all the ingredients together when the onion and garlic mix have cooled.  Make a well in the centre of the meat ball and place a piece of mozzarella in it. Form the meat until it encloses the cheese.
                                                                     
                                                                 
Seal the meatballs on a hot pan.  If you are serving with a tomato sauce and pasta, they can be cooked through when transferred into the sauce.  If not then they must be cooked through on the pan but not overcooked or they will become like dry bullets.  Some of the mozzarella may ooze out but it becomes browned and it is delicious. 

This recipe makes enough for 3-4 depending on appetite.  Serve with a tomato sauce made from either fresh tomatoes or a tin of good quality peeled plum tomatoes cooked down with some onion, garlic and fresh herbs, a teaspoon of sugar and a splash of red wine.  Serve with tagliatelle or new potatoes and vegetables if preferred.






Tags: Meatballs  Pork and Beef Recipes  Food  

Seven Week Odyssey to Skinny

Week one has started of my seven week odyssey - which is defined as "an intellectual or spiritual quest".  Actually, odyssey is maybe the wrong word but I have to make it seem like an adventure and not a miserable experience.  I want to lose a stone in the next seven weeks or 49 days or at least an average of 2lbs a week.  Then if I get to that target I hope to go on and lose a bit more; but one step at a time.  Why I am doing this is, because I have prevaricated and messed about with it for too long now - starting and stopping after a couple of weeks with no target to aim for.  Plus by posting this on my blog I hope it will shame me into keeping it up and not giving up heart if I don't reach my target on time.

I am following the Weight Watchers Pro Points programme.  I have joined Weight Watchers a few times and have always given up in frustration at the nutritional advice they dole out.  The final straw last time was telling dieters to use an oil-concoction-replacement-chemical spray instead of a healthy teaspoon of an olive or rape seed oil.  Plus advising buying fake bacon and promoting bars with hefty doses of hydrogenated fats and other nasties.  I wanted to scream several times at the meetings at the level of nutritional ignorance by the leaders.

So this is day 3 of week 1 and I am aiming for a 22 point daily intake plus a very vigorous walk for 50 minutes minimum which gives me another 3 points to play around with.

So far for breakfast I have had organic Kilbeggan porridge approx 50g cooked in water with low fat milk and muscovado sugar and a freshly squeezed orange for breakfast.  I have as much tea, coffee and water as I feel like.

For lunch I have variations on a salad theme with no bread and I use my own homemade dressing with olive oil and measure it out by teaspoon instead of the usual big dollop!

Snacks are seeds, nuts and fruit.

Dinner consists of meat or fish, lots of veg usually up to 5 or 6 different portions and maybe a medium potato or some rice.  I am trying to avoid pasta and other refined carbohydrates.

At the weekend I am going to splash out on a really good red wine and allow myself a bottle spread out over Friday, Saturday and maybe Sunday, depending on my restraint! 

I hope to devise some nice meal recipes and post them as I go along, but here's a quickie.

Spicy Bean Stew
1 400g can of mixed beans
1 small onion
1 stick celery
1 carrot
1 clove garlic
Thyme, sage and parsley chopped
Salt and pepper
4 thick good quality sausages (i.e. low fat and 80%+ lean e.g. Oldfarm)
100ml chicken stock
1/2 tin tomatoes
1 tsp of spicy sauce (Holy Fuck)

Sauté all vegetables in a teaspoon of rapeseed/olive oil.  Dry fry sausages, dab in kitchen paper and slice.  Add to vegetables.  Add beans drained and rinsed, stock and tomatoes.  Season and simmer for 30 minutes.  By my calculations this should serve 2-3 people and will not be more than 7 pro-points/serving.  Serve with a mash of root vegetables or extra green veg rather than potatoes or bread.

Tags:
Spicy Bean Stew,Sausage, Diet Weight Watchers, Low Calorie Kilbeggan, Holy Fuck